did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
