my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
