No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
