it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
