I faked an abortion last night.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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