I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
