i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
