my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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