the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
