Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
