no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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