I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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