Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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