i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
