Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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