apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
