I am puke
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
