I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
