getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
