Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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