This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
