I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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