Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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