How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
