Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Girls should come with a carfax report
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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