...so i touched it.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
