Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
