Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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