If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
