so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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