i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
