did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
