He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
