Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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