so explain again why im purple
no
Someone shit on the floor
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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