that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
