i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
