I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
