i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
