i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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