I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
