ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
