found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
