pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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