I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
