i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
