yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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