How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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