Will you blow on my dice?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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