You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
