Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
