I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
